Ndiilokelwa Nthengwe

…It’s THAT love you can never have again

That warmth of maternal comfort and security

That nonjudgmental reception of your shameful experiences

It’s like that memory of the time you laughed so deeply, you begged for your breath to return

That kiss that had you spellbound for days with flashes and scenes replaying inside your head


Like your favorite song

Something that’s similar but not quite exact

A line that runs down infinitely without truly creating the experiences you find too difficult, memorable or maybe even too painful, to shove away


No time will ever reproduce the moments, the ideas, the emotional impression and impact of their personas and presence, their beautiful existence and that well of wisdom you continuously seek

All you have is this line that pretends to emulate their true value but does not come close to the original feeling

THAT friendship you once thought would carry on for eternity

Asymptotic reflections of a past that was once your undeniable reality

Maybe if you closed your eyes for a few seconds and imagined them, they would not feel so distant anymore

Until you open your eyes again

To realize that,

No truer or more real moment could ever be reproduced as the ones they once shared with you.